The End Of An Era – Paying Homage to Milky Breasts

I’ve been lucky enough to provide my wonderful daughter with breast milk for a whole year. Despite starting back at work just after she turned 5 months old along with all the ups and downs of breastfeeding, I managed to keep it going.

Orginaly I planned to feed for 3 months which then turned to 6, and then once I got the hang of expressing enough milk to cover the hours I was working, i thought ‘what the heck, let’s go for the year milstone’. I have to say, I am pretty chuffed with myself.  There is a part of me that wants to keep going but I know it’s the right time now since we’ve got down to one feed a day, and little ba really doesn’t seem to care if it’s come from mummy or cow.

Tonight, on the night of my (not so) little one’s first birthday, I layed beside her feeding her a much appreciated  bottle of warmed cows milk. To say the least I couldn’t help but feel a little bit gutted, it was like the end of an era.. ‘The Great Teat of Life’ – April  2016 – 2017. Rip my lovely milky boobies.

Of course breast feeding was so much more than the nurishment it provided. Health benefits aside, it was mine and baby’s little thing, it was what bonded us and made baby (and me) trust my parental insticts. I suppose now I feel like a bit of a safety net has been taken away. Now I have to rely on alternative nurishments alone to do the job of keeping growing baby fit and well. We still have lots of cuddles though, especially at the ‘would have been’ breastfeeding times.

On the one hand I can drink once again, my partner can feed her more, giving me a bit more of a break and we could actually spend the night away alone, which actually seems like something we haven’t done in a lifetime (though she would still be terribly missed). Yet at the same time I think about how fast this year has flown and how this is the first of many things I’ll have to let go of as my baby grows up and needs her mummy less and less.

I have loved every minute of being a mum. I am embracing the present yet forever worrying about the future. Though I must be doing something right as when it comes to parenting I have no regrets. The past year has painted beautiful memories full of peace, love and happiness.

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A Brief Moment

So I haven’t done any writing for quite a while and thought it was about time I got my creative juices flowing once more… Towards the end of my pregnancy I pretty much gave up on life, my motivation levels dropped to zero. I couldn’t be bothered to write, I couldn’t be bothers to do my yoga, I barely left the house and I had the sex drive of an eighty year old panda! In fact I spent the majority of my time lounging around in the bath, like a great big whale.

Understandably, since giving birth I have had no time to sit and write… Even now as I write this I have my little one in one arm suckling away. Tapping away at a laptop with one finger takes great patience but (as most mums will know) patients is somethings you need buckets of when looking after a new born, so something as trivial as this bares no challenge.

My beautiful baby girl is now eleven weeks and as the days go by my confidence grows and grows. I literally can not remember what it’s like to not be a mum and I often find myself thinking ‘what the hell did I use to do with all that spare time I had.’ One things for sure, there’s no more lounging around in the bath for hours on end for me, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing as I do feel much less prune-like these days.

I have never been so happy to be in a sleep deprived state, with greasy hair and covered in sick. At the moment I just love life and would not have things any other way. Some say that becoming a parent is hard ‘hard’, personally I would use the phrase ‘ wonderfully challenging’ to describe it.

It’s not that the tasks involved in looking after a little one are hard, it’s just a whole new experience. Things can seem repetitive, tiring and at times frustrating, there is always something new to learn around the corner but throughout it all I always feel an overwhelming sense of love in my heart. I would definitely recommend parenthood to others, especially those who describe their lives as ‘boring’.

Thank you world for giving me the greatest gift of all.