I’ve been lucky enough to provide my wonderful daughter with breast milk for a whole year. Despite starting back at work just after she turned 5 months old along with all the ups and downs of breastfeeding, I managed to keep it going.
Orginaly I planned to feed for 3 months which then turned to 6, and then once I got the hang of expressing enough milk to cover the hours I was working, i thought ‘what the heck, let’s go for the year milstone’. I have to say, I am pretty chuffed with myself. There is a part of me that wants to keep going but I know it’s the right time now since we’ve got down to one feed a day, and little ba really doesn’t seem to care if it’s come from mummy or cow.
Tonight, on the night of my (not so) little one’s first birthday, I layed beside her feeding her a much appreciated bottle of warmed cows milk. To say the least I couldn’t help but feel a little bit gutted, it was like the end of an era.. ‘The Great Teat of Life’ – April 2016 – 2017. Rip my lovely milky boobies.
Of course breast feeding was so much more than the nurishment it provided. Health benefits aside, it was mine and baby’s little thing, it was what bonded us and made baby (and me) trust my parental insticts. I suppose now I feel like a bit of a safety net has been taken away. Now I have to rely on alternative nurishments alone to do the job of keeping growing baby fit and well. We still have lots of cuddles though, especially at the ‘would have been’ breastfeeding times.
On the one hand I can drink once again, my partner can feed her more, giving me a bit more of a break and we could actually spend the night away alone, which actually seems like something we haven’t done in a lifetime (though she would still be terribly missed). Yet at the same time I think about how fast this year has flown and how this is the first of many things I’ll have to let go of as my baby grows up and needs her mummy less and less.
I have loved every minute of being a mum. I am embracing the present yet forever worrying about the future. Though I must be doing something right as when it comes to parenting I have no regrets. The past year has painted beautiful memories full of peace, love and happiness.